That Special Something
by IvyLovesBamMargera
Summary: My Chemical Romance/Bam Margera fanfiction. Ivy and Gerard are happily in love, but what happens when an old friend comes back to visit Ivy while she and Gerard are going through a tough time?
1. Prologue

**A/N: So, please don't kill me but I'm stopping my "You Can't Live Until You're Dead" fiction! I wanna work on this one instead, because I found it in my thingy majigger notebook, and I remember starting it in a dentist's office last month. Ha! So yeah I'm starting this. Here's a prologue.**

Ivy and Autumn. Autumn and Ivy. However you put it, something just clicks inside your head, telling you that these girls are best friends in Battery City High School. They are close friends with Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Frank too. These six kids have all been buds since the second grade. They grew up together, and without each other, they probably wouldn't be in existence at this very moment. They know everything about each other. What could possibly go wrong?

**MOO HAHAHAHAHAHA! I have the best plans :3 but you have to revie wto see them! Please I'm begging you /3**


	2. Welcome the Weekend!

**A/N: Chapter 1. HEHEHE. None of the good old drama stuff yet, but it's gonna be goooooood :3**

**Ivy's POV**

I looked in the little cracked mirror in my locker, ran my fingers through my hair, and dropped my books to the bottom of the messy space. I slammed it shut and the clanging sound echoed in my ears. Right before I turned around, Gerard came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. I smiled and leaned my head to the side slightly, so our foreheads touched. "You scared me, Gee."

"I'm sorry. I missed you, my beautiful Ivy." He spun me around the rest of the way. We kissed and when he pulled away, his beautiful hazel eyes burned into my soul. We were 2 of the maybe 20 scene or emo kids in all of Battery City. So I felt like the luckiest girl to have him, Autumn, and everyone else by my side.

"I saw you five minutes ago, silly!" I pushed some of his black hair behind his ear. He giggled softly and we began walking out of the school. We were chatting and hopping over the cracks in the sidewalk, giggling the whole time. Somewhere behind is, Autumn and Mikey were following and making plans for Saturday. Frankie wasn't in school today and Ray has a report due Monday. So that just leaves the four of us.

Gerard unlocked the front door of his huge house and we all filed down into the basement. I flung my bag down onto his bed, and we all sat on the couch with our feet on the coffee table. Mikey had his arm around Autumn's waist and I was on Gerard's lap.

"Can we play Left 4 Dead?" Autumn reached for an X-box controller on the table. She pressed the 'on' button and the TV screen lit up. L4D was already in the console, so everyone else grabbed controllers and picked out our avatars. Who knows how long we played for, but when I took a look out the window, the sky was a dark shade of blue.

"Ivy heal me, I hear a witch nearby." Mikey absently tapped my shoulder without looking off the screen.

"Wha- oh!" I have him my health pack. Once again, we were playing intensely. After about 20 more minutes, my phone buzzed on the table. "Excuse me, it's my mom. Keep me alive."

"Ivy?" my mom yelled into the receiver.

"What? Is someone hurt?" Why is she yelling at me?

"Where are you? It's almost eight o'clock!"

"I'm at Gee and Mikey's. Autumn's here, too. I'm fine, mom!" I said impatiently.

"You have to come home. You know I don't like you at those people's house after 6. I don't trust them." She sighed, and said gentler, "You know I don't like Gerard."

"Fuck off!" I screamed into the phone and hung up on my mom. "Guys, is it okay if um, Autumn and I spend the night?" I smiled for the first time today.

Mikey raised one eyebrow at me, and then looked at Gee.

"Fine by me, it's Friday anyway."

Autumn had a confused look on her face. "Why are we staying her tonight?" I could tell she didn't have a problem with it, though.

"My mom's bitching, don't feel like going home, the usual." Gee motioned for me to come back to my seat on his lap, and I obeyed.

Mikey made his I-have-a-devious-yet-awesome-idea face. He walked over to the mini-fridge. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and a bunch of cans of beer. Gerard took a beer from the tale and started drinking it ravenously. I cracked open a can of Bud Lite, and Autumn poured a glass of vodka, for her and another for Mikey.

I looked over at Gee, who was now smoking, and giggled at him. We're all drunk, so I thought of something funny. "Guys, um, you wanna, um, play Dance Central?" I slurred out and pointed at the Kinect with a shaky finger.

Autumn was laughing on the couch, and she rolled off and into the floor. She kinda just laid there laughing to herself. "I wanna dance!" She got up and flailed her arms around. She attempted a high kick and fell flat on her ass. "Let's play!"

Mikey was wobbling up with the glass in his hand, and turned on the Kinect. He put Dance Central in the cartridge, and he moved his shaky hand to the spot on the screen. "Big brother, how can the X-box see what I'm doing? Is there like, a tiny person in there or what?"

"Magic." Gerard pushed me off his lap and he went up to the screen.

Autumn and I were laughing our asses off watching the boys take their turn. They were a stumbling mess, and they banged into each other- twice. I was laying on the floor with vodka in my hand, laughing so hard I could barely move.

"Get up and dance with m-me!" Gerard managed to sputter in my face.

I rolled onto my knees and stood. This'll be fun, I thought. The screen is blurry as shit.

He selected our song, and we ended up dancing to Crank That (Soulja Boy) on expert. It was the most fun I ever had with the Kinect. Somehow, Gerard beat me by 1,000 points! It isn't normal when your boyfriend can crank it on expert better than you.

Autumn finally got the courage to get up and dance, even though she knows nobody in the Way household judges. Her and Mikey played Jungle Boogie on medium. She won by 50 points, even though she fell on her ass in the middle of it.

We turned the game off after that, ad watched Insidious until we were too scared to move.

I curled up against Gerard, who was lounging on his bed. Why does nothing scare him? I thought. Then I sighed.

"What's wrong babe?" Gerard looked at me curiously.

I looked back at him and kissed his cheek. "I was just thinking about what my mom said earlier. No biggie."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. His muffled voice echoed off my shoulder. "I know she's your mother and all, but shouldn't she be like, supporting your relationship? Why does she hate me so much, Ivy?" He pulled slightly from the hug, so he was looking in my eyes.

I swear I'll melt in this kid's eyes. I felt my eyes tearing up. "I don't know, Gee. I honestly don't. I think she thinks you're a bad influence on me."

He held my head in his hands, and kissed my forehead, alcohol on his breath.

"I think she's gonna have to suck it up." I wrapped my arms tightly around Gerard's neck, the only place I felt truly safe.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." I slipped my hand into his when we separated the hug, and watched the rest of the movie. 5 minutes later, the TV shut off, and Mikey yelled across the room, "We're going to sleep. Try to keep it down over there!"

Autumn chuckled at him. "Yeah, guys! Don't get too crazy over there." Then she fell backwards onto Mikey's bed. She clapped. "Babe, your clap lights are broken again!"

Mikey clicked off his bedside table light and said, "Fixed em'."

After sitting for a few moments in silence, I realized Gerard was looking at me. I noticed we were still holding hands, and I blushed and pulled away. I looked out the window. Rainstorms. I sighed deeply. I love this weather.

"Babe."

"Yes?"

"You hungry?"

"Starved."

"Want an ice cream sundae?"

"Fuck yeah!"

He laughed at me. We got up and as Gerard walked, he pulled shut the curtain in the center of the room. Now we have some more privacy, and we can turn the lights on.

My eyes burned at the sudden brightness, but quickly they adjusted. Mr. and Mrs. Way are out this weekend, visiting a friend in Pennsylvania. I assumed they were visiting April Margera, because she's a close friend of Donna's. April's son, Bam Margera, is one of my closest friends. We dated for 10 months, but then he started a TV show called Jackass with a bunch of his friends. We still keep in touch, at least he didn't break up with me and ended badly. That would be terrible. I'm so happy for him, Johnny, Steve-O and everyone else.

"Vanilla, coffee, or cookie dough?" Gerard opened the freezer and pushed food around.

"Coffee."

"Good choice." I took out the whipped cream and sprinkles as he scooped out our sundaes. "Don't forget the cherries!"

"Oh right!" I went into the fridge and grabbed the jar of cherries. I placed them next to all of the other stuff.

Gerard took the whipped cream can and squirted some of it into his mouth. "Want some?" His voice was muffled through the faceful of the creamy goodness.

"Yeah!" I dipped my head back and he sprayed the substance into my mouth. I laughed at us. We both looked like retards.

Gerard was giggling, too. We finished making our sundaes and headed downstairs with them.

"So, what's going on?"

I looked at my perfect boyfriend. "Well, I'm failing algebra II, because of last week.

He tilted his head at me and knit his eyebrows. "Oh yeah! We ditched."

"Mhm, what's up with you?"

He took our empty bowls and put them on his bedside table. "Hm, what's up with me? I have a sudden urge to do some very odd things to a girl named Ivy," he tapped his chin. "But I don't think I really should." I gave him my best sexy smirk. "You know Ivy, that's not helping."

"I know. Why exactly do you think you shouldn't do dirty-ass things to me?" I raised an eyebrow and crawled closer to him.

He put his hands on my hips and we touched noses. "I'm not sure if I think what anymore."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I scooted a tiny bit further, so I was straddling his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist, not pulling away from the kiss once.

Gerard slipped his tongue into my mouth so I did exactly the same. We took short gasps a breath when we could. He quickly lifted up his shirt and threw it across the room.

We were under the covers now. Gee crawled down and unbuckled my studded belt. I pushed off my skin-tight jeans and he crawled back up to face level. I rolled on top of him and shoved my hand down his pants. I silently laughed to myself when I felt his boner.

He kissed my lips, nibbled on my top lip playfully. He pulled off my Black Veil Brides tee, and started to unhook my bra. "Wait, are you sure about this? Think of Autumn and Mikey."

He laughed.

"I'm serious! They might wake up. We can do this another day; when they aren't a problem."

"Okay, Ivy, but you know you can tell me if you're not ready-"

"Trust me, I've been ready. I promise you, next time."

He smiled and pulled me in close. I spent the rest of that amazing night in his arms. "We'll keep this our secret."

"Yes, you dirty little secret." Then we softly drifted to sleep.

**Mihihihi, amazing things to come :3**


	3. Hangovers and Parental Drama

**A/N; Heey! I'm updating again, so you're welcome! And if you don't feel like reading long author's notes, then just scroll past this. I just wanna say thank you to everyone who reads and reviews my stories, and everyone who has favorited or subscribed to me, you are the people that keep me writing, and the best people I know. I want to tell you guys that I'm seriously gonna start writing a LOT more, I've been so busy with school work, etc. So I couldn't write so much. Also, I'm gonna work one story at a time, so expect me to update this more often until I completely finish it, then I already have another story running around in my head! :D That's all, so here's chapter 2! Oh and by the way, there _is_ a bunch of references to Left 4 Dead, so if you get confused at any point, feel free to ask questions in a REVIEW :3 Oh and ONE MORE THING! Drama starts in chapter 3 and 4!**

I woke up with a pounding headache. How much did we drink last night? I rubbed my temples. Gerard slept peacefully next to me. I got out of bed and realized I was only in my underwear. I found my tee at the foot of the bed, and pulled it up and over my head. I saw my skinny black jeans and pulled them up. I buckled my belt and found a comb on Gerard's bedside table. I ran it through my black, neon-blue streaked hair. Gerard's mirror had more hairspray on it than mine, and there's pictures of us together taped onto it. I smiled. There's a photo of us at the bowling alley, and we're dancing on the lane aisles. I remember that! Then, there's a picture of us with "2004" sunglasses on, me sticking out my tongue and Gerard giving a peace sign to the camera. Today's January 31st, tomorrow being my birthday month. My birthday is February 26th.

"Babe, good morning."

"Morning! I just got up."

"My head hurts."

I nodded. "Mine does too. Where do you keep your pills at?" I looked over at him. He's sitting straight up, squinting his eyes at the open window.

"Middle drawer, gimme 2 Aspirin."

I rummaged through his drawer of pills and razors- and condoms- and finally found the pain reliever. I took two with some water on his desk and he swallowed his dry. He tossed back the pill bottle and I slid the drawer shut.

Gerard stood up on his bed, jumped around on it, then got off and stretched. "You hungry?" He pulled open the curtain to see Autumn and Mikey playing Left 4 Dead. He turned off the Xbox. "Not without us, you don't!" I wonder if Gee realized he forgot to put his shirt back on. Luckily, he did remember to put his jeans back on, so Autumn and Mikey won't suspect anything.

My phone went off. "Frankie texted me, he said to meet him and Ray at the mall at 1:00."

"But my head hurts," Autumn complained.

Mikey nodded in agreement. "Where's your pills?"

gerard walked over to his drawer and tossed the bottle over to his brother and his playmate. They each swallowed down 2 and then tossed the bottle back to him.

"I have an idea!" Everyone looked over at me. "Let's go to Ihop! Then we can meet the guys from there. And I'm fucking starved. Whataya say?"

"Why not?" Mikey shrugged.

"I'd have to get ready first."

"Okay, that's four yes's!" Gerard pulled on a tee shirt and zipped his black hoodie over it. He kept on his dark, tight jeans and pulled on a pair of black converse. Damn he looked good in those pants. He looked in the mirror and decided not to do anything with his hair. He'd just put his hood up if it got bad, or I'll do it for him. "I'm ready!"

I laughed and nodded. I don't really care how I look that much, this outfit's not that bad anyway. I checked in the mirror just in case. "Where are my shoes at?" I turned around and they rested on the floor behind me. I flopped down and slipped on my gladiator sandals. "I'm ready too."

Mikey quickly changed into a tee shirt and jeans, and Autumn just stayed in what she was wearing. We all took turns with the flat iron, then we headed out.

We decided to walk the short way through the city to the mall, and entered and walked across it to the Ihop.

"I'll just have the sunny-side-up eggs with an orange juice," I told the waitress. Her stubby fingers scribbled on the notebook.

"Same with me," Autumn added in.

"I'll have... just a cup fo coffee for now, I guess." Gerard ordered.

"Sure thing! How would you like it?"

"Just put creamer. I'll do the sugar here." His hand circled the condiments in the corner of the table.

"Alrighty!"

"Ok, um..." Mikey looked over the menu again. "I guess... waffles with pork rolls on the side."

"What would you like to drink with that?"

"Just a water, please."

"Alrighty, I'll be right back with your drinks." The little waitress scurried off. She was totally giving Gerard flirty looks. She'll get a punch right in her uptight little kisser if she needs one. I glared after her and turned back to everyone else.

"Wow." I didn't mean to say that out loud! Everyone looked over at me. "We do a pretty good job, pretending to be mature adults, yanno." I made up.

Mikey laughed, along with the rest of us. "Very true!"

We chatted for a few minutes till the short lady came back with our food and drinks. "Enjoy!"

I couldn't remember the details of breakfast, but gimme a break, I'm getting over a hangover.

We all walked toward the center fountain of the huge mall- well, _they_ walked, I was sitting on Gerard's shoulders. We were cracking cheesy jokes and giggling and once we got to the fountain, Gerard sat on the edge of it. "Okay, you wanna come down now?" He smirked mischievously. Shit! He started leaning backwards, and I felt like I was about to fall back into the water.

I shrieked. "Babe, stop! GERARD!"

He laughed at himself, self-satisfied. Then he got up and placed me on the ground carefully. I spun around and kissed his lips. "Don't scare me like that," I faltered. His soft lips caressed mine as Frank and Ray walked up, us not noticing.

"Hey lovebirds, we're hereee!" Frank sang.

Gee and I pulled apart, and I felt myself blushing. "Hey, guys!" I gave them each a half hug. Autumn followed. "Where we headed now?"

"Not sure," Ray thought to himself for a second. Man oh man, do I want to go to Hot Topic. "I guess we could wander around for a bit."

"OKAY!" Everyone said in unison. We all laughed. Well, there's a good way to break the ice!

"So, what did I miss?" Ray asked us. "Play Xbox without me, I suppose?"

A chill went down my spine, memory of last night starting to come back. "For hours! We practically defeated the whole game!" Mikey giggled.

"Bitches!" Frank said. "I wasn't there either, Ray. Don't feel _too_ bad."

He laughed. "So how did you finish Blood Harvest? I tried to get to the stupid radio, but I couldn't figure out how to get into the tractor!"

"They didn't know how to do it either," I objected. "Only I did. You just run past the tractor and that's where the farm house is at. There's another radio in there, and a shitload of ammo, and guns and healthpacks and everything else. But it gets like, really hard from there. What, was it 3 tanks?"

Gee nodded. "I don't know how we made it through all that."

"I didn't! You bitches left me there to die!" Mikey pouted.

I cracked up. "Anyway... HEY! Wanna get some Rita's?"

"Sure!"

"Alright!"

"Whatever."

"Okay, um... I'll have a..." Mikey paused.

I put my finger to my head like a gun and pulled the trigger. After Mikey _finally_ picked something, I went next. "Alright. Can I get a pineapple ice with vanilla custard?" I laughed. The word 'custard' for some reason just cracks me up.

"Sure." The old man made my Italian Ice and I handed him a $5.

"Thank you!"

We wandered around a bit more, but I just couldn't hold it in any longer. "Okay, I really want to go to Hot Topic. Like, realllllllllllly bad!"

Frankie laughed. "Why didn't you just say so?"

"I gotta admit, I do too!" Autumn is a life saver.

We all laughed and walked into the store. Let's see, what did I get, you may ask? A Marilyn Manson tee shirt, another Black Veil Brides tee, and lime green skinny jeans, and blue and black checkered converse. It came out to about $60. I did pretty good!

"Okay, what now?"

"Let's go to Battery City park!" Mikey offered.

"I haven't been to that park since we were little kids!" Frankie said. We exchanged awkward glances. Long story. I'll explain later.

"Then let's do it! Come on, we have so many memories there!"

"Okay! You don't have to beg," we needed Ray's approval. He's the only one who could drive...yet.

We sped down the streets of our small little town, blasting and singing along to Dance of Death by Iron Maiden, Gee's favorite band. Ray shut off the engine and we all piled out of the car. I looked at the benches and little swingset, and the magnolia trees looked awesome. Wow, since when do I like flowers? _And they're pink!_ I should go see a doctor. Now.

I looked over to my friends. They were admiring it, too. Maybe I'll rethink that doctor's appointment.

"It's been so long," Autumn said dreamily.

"Right? It feels so good to be back!" Frankie exclaimed and ran through the iron gates, and hopped onto the swingset.

Autumn, Mikey, Gee, Ray and I followed him and took spots on the swings. I sat on Gerard's lap, and Autumn sat on Mikey's.

"These swings seemed so much bigger back when we were so little," Ray faltered.

"Well, we _were _younger back them!" Mikey pushed his glasses up.

I got off Gee's lap and started walking up to the tre we used to climb every day. It's dead now, but a few leaves still drifted down from its branches. I climbed up and sat on a thick limb, my back facing everyone else. I took in the beautiful scenery, and after a couple minutes, everyone else joined me.

Gerard and I cuddled close, chilled from the January breeze.

"I remember all the fun times we used to have," Frankie started. "How we used to come here every day, after kindergarten let out, and just played around for hours."

"Yeah, and I remember spraining my ankle on the teeter-totter...RAY... I still blame you for that."

"Oh please! I had to leave, it was dinner time! It's not my fault the fucking thing just decided to slam down on your ankle!"

I laughed. "That's alright. I'm fine."

"And I also remember, in the second grade..."

Frank, don't... I held my breath. Squeezed my eyes shut, then stuck them back open.

"My very first kiss, up on this very tree."

Autumn gasped. "Awwh, how sweet! Who was the lucky lady?"

I smiled nervously as Frank pointed to me and everyone stared. "Hi!" I said dumbly.

Gerard seemed to pull me closer. Just to assure him and everyone else, I said, "Yeah, true story, but it was...eight years ago, no biggie." I kissed Gerard's cheek.

Autumn was staring off into space, her hand clasped into Mikey's. This inspired me to cuddle my head into Gerard's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and I put mine around his waist.

Out of nowhere, Frank started talking again and I jumped. It scared me! "Does anyone remember the time in 7th grade when I was getting chased by that big huge guy and I climbed up the tree and I fell and broke my nose?"

I laughed. "Wasn't that only Ray's father in the end?"

"Haha, yeah."

"My dad's not that scary!"

"He was when I was only 5 feet tall and twelve years old!"

Gerard looked at him curiously. "Are you even five feet tall yet?"

He blushed. "I am officially 5 feet 4 inches!"

Everyone laughed. "Guys, leave him alone, he's not short, he's just fun-sized!"

Ray cracked up. "That's what she said!"

I punched his arm playfully, and my phone went off in my pocket. It's Mom. Shit. Okay, good, it's just a text. _Where r u? It's almost 7!_ I put my phone away. "Guys, I think we should go soon. It's getting late, and my mom's nervous."

"Okay, we can go. Uh, want me to drop you off, Ivy?"

"No, I'll just walk 20 blocks with all of my bags and shit. No biggie at all!" I laughed nervously, thinking of what's to come later with mom.

**At home.**

I opened the front door. "Mom, I'm home!"

She emerged at the top of the staircase. "Where the _fuck_ have you been for the past two days! I've been worried sick! I was about to report you missing! You haven't answered a single one of my texts!"

"MOM! Calm down! I'm alright! We had _fun_! Autumn and I slept over Mikey and Gerard's house, then we went to the mall with Ray and Frankie, and then we were at the park! I'm _fine,_ mom!" I rolled my eyes and climbed upstairs and trudged past her. I sat down on my bed.

Mom waked in behind me. "I'm just worried about you, Ivy. I care about you. I don't like you hanging around those people. You should hang out with new people! What ever happened to that Hayley girl?"

"Mom, she moved to Wisconsin. We still talk all the time. Why do you hate my friends so much? Because to be honest, I don't get it. What did they ever do to you?" I narrowed my arms at her as she stood there in silence. "Exactly! They didn't ever do anything! Give me one single reason why you dislike my only friends!"

"Go look in the mirror. You'll see what they've changed in you. You used to be the bubbly little girl that everyone loved, now look at you. When our family comes over to visit, they look at you as if they've just seen a dead person walking! And that's what it's starting to look like these days, too."

"Thanks, mom, it really means a lot." I walked up and slammed the door in her face, and fell back against it, sobbing.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me into my bathroom connected my bedroom, and shut and locked the door. This is starting to be second-nature to me, with all of the stress in my life these days. I've been thinking about ending it all, but I know I'm better than that. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out the sharpest of my razors. I repeatedly slid it across my wrist, the scent of blood- the beautiful scent, soothing my nerves as I watched the blood pour down into the sink. I flinched when the icy water hit it, and I wrapped the wound. That's good for now.

I scribbled in my math book for a few seconds after that, then threw on my shorts and a tank top and got into bed.

**A/n: Sorry this took me so long! I'm planning on posting the next few chapters this week! Or sure chapter 3 will be up very soon! :D REVIEW!**


	4. A Rude Awakening? Sunday Funday

**A/N: Okay, now that I poured my feelings out to you with my last one, I'll give you a short author's note. Here's chapter 3.**

"Ivy!" My eyes shot open.

"Autumn! You're in my bedroom! at-" I checked the clock on my wall. "9:30 am.! Why?"

"I called you twice and texted you a bunch of times. I thought you were dead!"

"Hey, Ivy!" Frank waltzed into my room as if he lived here.

"Frank's here too? Am I missing something here?"

Autumn giggled. "It's Sunday. Your mom is never home on Sundays! So we came over to chill for a while. I can't stay long, though. My sister needs me to pick her up from soccer practice at 1:30. then I'm meeting Mikey at Josh's pizza place or whatever it's called."

"Oh! That's... awesome." I sat up in bed. "Guys, can you like-" I swatted toward the door. "I wanna get dressed."

"Okay."

"We'll be eating your food!"

I laughed and shut the door behind them. Okay, now what to wear? Something to cover up my wrist, from last night, I suppose! I threw on a pair of red tight jeans and the new Marilyn Manson shirt, and my black converse. Then I shook on about a hundred black, silver, and red bangles to cover myself up. Lastly, I topped it all off with the heartagram necklace Bam sent to me a few months ago. I smiled at the mirror. "Guys! You can come in now! Autumn? Frank!" I waited a few seconds, listening for any response, then slid down the staircase, and they were sitting on my couch watching TV. "Guys. I called you like, ten times!"

They turned around, startled. When I realized what they were watching, I got a heartache deep down.

_Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!_

I sucked down the pain and kept a smile on my face. Nobody knew about my past with Bam, and I've always been scared that if I told anyone, they'd call me a liar and never let me hear the end of it.

"Sorry, Ivy, we didn't hear you. Have you ever seen these movies?" Autumn asked. She raised her eyebrows.

"No," I lied. "What are they about?"

"They're like, the funniest shit I've ever seen! Sit down, you gotta watch this!" Frank smacked the couch.

"No, it's fine, mom has them on DVD. I'll just borrow them later," I lied again. "Can we go upstairs?"

"Sure!"

We raced up the stairs and I got into my room first. "HAH! Beat that!" We all sat down, me on my bed, Autumn on one of my beanbag chairs, and Frankie on my rolly computer chair. I laid back, sighed so loud, and admired the posters on my ceiling. Ugh, I had so many!

"So..." Frank started.

"So," Autumn repeated.

"Has anyone seen Scream?" I thought of something to talk about from looking at the movie poster on my wall.

"YES! What kind of teenage kid hasn't seen Scream!" Autumn spazzed.

"Uh, I haven't," Frank said cautiously.

Autumn and I gasped in unison. "Oh, Frank, Frank, Frank. You shouldn't have said that, cause now we have to watch it!"

Autumn stood up and started walking toward the door. "I'll see if it's on Netflix!"

"We only have that in the living room, so don't try the basement!" I called after her. Then I turned to Frank. "How on earth am I friends with you right now?" I laughed to ensure him that I'm only kidding. "EVERYONE has seen that movie. It's like, the best horror movie ever! I know every word to the script of it. I'm kind of obsessed with it. No big deal."

"So are you gonna even tell me what it's about, other than it's a horror movie?" Frank smirked.

"Shut up! Sure, I will. And this is me memorizing the summary from IMDb. A killer known as "ghost face" begins killing off teenagers, and as the body count begins rising, one girl and her friends find themselves contemplating the "Rules" of horror films as they find themselves living in a real-life one. "I think you'll like it!"

After a brief pause, Frank said, "Me too."

Autumn ran in. "They have it! Can I rent it? Pleaseeeee?" she begged with puppy eyes.

"Whatever," I breathed. "Frank wants to see it, anyway."

"Yay!" she shrieked and ran back out. _Gosh, my friends are so weird!_

We stared at the TV for the running time, Frank interrupting every so often to say stuff like, "I bet Deputy Dewey is the killer!" or "Why is Gale Weathers so sleazy?" or "Can we watch the sequel next?" Autumn and I laughed the whole time.

When the end credits started rolling, Autumn got up. "Guys, I gotta go. I'll see you in school! Bye Ivy, bye Frank!"

"Bye, Autumn!" we said in unison. Autumn laughed and shut the door.

"Not _that_ is one of the best horror movies I've ever seen," Frank said.

My face lit up. "I know, right? The first time I saw it, I couldn't answer the phone for a week!"

Frank laughed. I blushed. "And Autumn kept prank calling my from other numbers, and she used that eerie ass voice! I freaked on her so bad."

"Wow. Don't tell the guys I've seen it then," he said, staring past me at the wall. "Since Autumn's probably not gonna let me hear the end of it anytime soon." We laughed together.

"Anyway, I'm starving! Want some food?"

He nodded. "What do you have?"

"What do you _want?_ We have everything here!" I roamed out of the living room and into the kitchen. I opened the cabinets for Frank to see. "Literally."

"Wow," he breathed. I laughed at his choice of Coco Puffs.

"Out of everything we have, you pick cereal. Why am I not surprised?" I threw up my arms jokingly. "Well, in that case, I'm taking out my secret stash!" My secret stash is under the sink, it's a huge bowl of candy.

"No fair," Frank complained when I sat next to him on the couch. "I want candy!"

"Then go put away the cereal!" Frank is weird. He eats his cereal by itself in a cup. "Just throw it back in the box."

"Alright!" He disappeared, and came back empty-handed.

I bit off a piece of Twizzler in his face. We've been doing this since the second grade. He laughed and popped a Jolly Rancher in his mouth. "So, what are we doing for the science project?"

My eyes widened. "That's due tomorrow, isn't it?"

Frank nodded. I put my palm on my forehead. "Ivy," he started. "Your wrist..."

I looked and saw my bangles had betrayed me, revealing the scars on my arm. "Shit," I muttered under my breath.

He took the bowl, put it on the glass coffee table, and turned to face me. "Talk to me. Why?"

"Everything. My mother hates every single one of my friends, she's telling me to be who I'm not, to join cheer and all this shit, my grades are going down, even Gerard. Our relationship is falling apart," I broke into tears, but silently scolded myself. I failed.

"Damn. If you don't mind me asking, what's going on between you and Gee? Everything _seems _to be going okay!"

He wiped my tears away and I continued. "W-well, it's been g-getting a lot more distant, a-and we've been hav-ving more argum-ments than w-we should b-be. We're trying a-as hard as we can t-to make it work, but s-something tells me it's not g-gonna." I calmed myself with a deep sigh.

"Ivy, I know what you're going through. It's tough. It really is. You're one of my best friends, and I'm here for you through it all, okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Frankie. That really means a lot."

He took my face in his hands again, me expecting him to wipe away my tears, but no. My breath caught in my throat, realizing what was about to happen. He pulled me in close, and crushed his lips against mine. He stroked his fingers through my dark hair, and I put my hands on his shoulders. We savored the taste of each other, Frank's lips surprisingly warm and soft. _Wait, this is wrong. Yet so right, no! Stop it, Ivy! You stop this right now. You love Gerard!_

I parted the kiss and stared at Frank, speechless. "Frank-" was all I could spit out.

"Ivy, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. I hated seeing you the way you were, I just- I don't know what I was thinking."

"Frankie! Don't worry about it, alright? It was just one little kiss, it doesn't mean anything, it was just you being a good friend trying to cheer up another. It's all good."

"Okay, thanks Ivy. And promise you won't tell Gee, I don't need my ass beat."

"I promise." I lied. "Just between you and me."

"Ok."

"Hug?"

Frank smiled and we had a huge, tight bear hug scene. When I pulled away, I said, "So, let's get over to your house and start that science project." I ran upstairs and grabbed the first hoodie I could find, and threw it on. I walked behind Frankie, staring at the back of his head and softly touching my lips where his had just been kissing.

"Hey, mom."

"Hi, Frankie, and hello, Ivy, you look beautiful today!" Frank's mom greeted us from the couch.

"Hi, Mrs. Iero."

"Mum, we're going upstairs to work on our science project. Alright?"

"Sure darling! Ivy, would you like to stay for dinner? There's enough for us to share, sweety."

"Thank you, but I'll have to ask my mom first." I smiled brightly.

"Okay dear. You two can escape my clutches now and work on your science project." She laughed at herself.

Frank and I darted upstairs and into the den.

"So, what are we even making?" I asked once we settled down. I logged into the school online site, and found Mr. Heffler's profile.

"Read what he said the requirements are for it."

"Alright... it's gotta be a 3D diagram of the chemical he gave us, and then a two-page written report on it."

"That's it?"

"Yep. What chemical did we get assigned anyway?" I spun in the spinny chair.

"Uh..." I watched him grab his book bag and zip it open. "We got H2O."

"Really? Like, water? That's so easy!" I laughed.

"Yeah. So who does the writing and who does the diagram part?"

I cocked my head, watching my black and red bangs fall softly over my crystal blue eyes. "I guess I'll do the writing part," I offered.

"Okay." I took two papers from Frank's binder and started scribbling down facts from the textbook. Ok. "_H2O is the scientific name for water."_ I erased that. "How do we start this essay?"

"I don't know, you offered!" He went back to his clay and furiously attempted to mold them into the shape we wanted. I laughed and turned back to the blank, menacing paper. I can imagine it being in my nightmares tonight, laughing at me for not being able to think of anything. _Stupid bitch,_ I said to the paper with my mind. _I'll defeat you._

I clutched the pencil, and scribbled down everything I could think of. "Done!" I cheered to myself.

"How long has it been since we started?" Frank wondered aloud.

"Uh... almost two hours! It's 4:30. I think I should head home sooner or later Frankie. How's the model coming out?" I looked over his shoulder. "That's awesome!" I admired the web of atoms before me.

"Really? He looked up at me. "I think it came out terrible."

"No, it's good! Maybe for once we won't fail a major grade!" We laughed and I grabbed onto his hands, helping him to his feet. "Well, I'll see you in school tomorrow, alright? I kept the paper on your desk, DO NOT FORGET IT."

"Okay! I won't!" He laughed.

He pulled me into a hug and I giggled. "I'll text you."

"Got it!" I laughed and headed out the door.

"Bye, Ivy!"

"Bye, Mrs. Iero!" I waved and closed the front door. I walked down the block back to my house.

My mom greeted me at the door. "I was about to text you! dinner's ready, where were you?" She pecked my forehead and I walked into the kitchen.

"Don't worry mom, I was just at Frankie's house. We have a science project due tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. That's fine then. I made Chicken Parmesan. Want a salad with it?"

I smiled. I love it when we get along like this. "Sure, but I can get it."

"Okay, I'll pour you a glass of Pepsi."

"Okay!" I grabbed the iceberg lettuce from the fridge and poured some of it into a bowl. I put in some tomato and black olives. Then, I topped it with Ranch dressing. I sat across from mom at the dinner table.

"So what did you have to do for science?"

"We had to make one of those atom diagram things. We got H2O. Talk about easy, right? Frank did the diagram, and I did some writing on it."

"Oh," she said. "I remember doing something like that back in high school."

"You're not _that _old, it's not even 'back in high school'!" I assured her. She _was_ young, only 40 and great looking for her age at that.

"Thanks, babe." I smirked and ate some food. We chatted small talk for the next few minutes, and then cleaned up after ourselves.

"That was really good. Thanks mommy!" I ran upstairs. _Where's my cell phone? _I looked around and finally found it in the pocket of my hoodie. Alright. Here goes.

I opened up my contacts and scrolled through until I found Gerard. It rang twice before he answered. "Hey babe! What's up?"

"Hi Gee!" How am I supposed to do this now? He sounds so... happy! "Uh, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, I got plenty of time."

"Okay. Well today Autumn and Frank came over..."

"And?"

"Well, last night was a bust and I couldn't help myself, and I started cutting again."

"Ivy!"

"I'm sorry! Let me finish, alright?"

"Okay."

"Well, Autumn didn't see, because she had to leave early. But Frank saw, and when he confronted me about it, I kinda got a little upset about it, and then you'd never guess what happened."

"Oh Jesus."

"Frank kissed me. Like, it was quick and didn't mean anything, but he still did and I thought it would be the right thing to do to tell you."

There was silence on the other line. "You're _sure_ it didn't mean anything?"

"Positive. I don't have feelings for him or anyone else like that. Except you. You know that!" I laughed nervously.

"Alright. I love you,"

"I love you, too. And could you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Don't tell Frank I told you? He was all worried you'd kill him if I did."

"No problem. I'll keep my mouth shut. I gotta get to bed, night Ivy. I love you; see you in school tomorrow."

"I love you too Gerard." I hung up the phone. At least he's not mad!


	5. Not Again

**A/N: Wait, I forgot what I was gonna tell you. It was important too! Oh whatever. Read. **

"_So please don't let it, Please don't let it go, 'Cause if you won't let it I won't let it go. So please don't let it, Please don't let it go, 'Cause if you won't let it I won't let it go" _I happily shut off my alarm clock and sat up in bed. 5:30. I hopped out of my covers and folded them carefully back to place. The sun stung my eyes, and I shut my blinds a bit, waiting for them to adjust. I clapped and my lights turned on. I giggled. I love these lights!

Apparently I left the light on in my closet, and I walked in and shut the door behind me. Walk-in closets are like a girl's heaven. I shoved shirts around the racks until I found the HIM shirt I wanted; I think today I'm gonna be thinking about them a lot, thanks to my alarm. I pulled it on over my tank top and pulled on a pair of red skinny jeans. I slipped my new checkered converse and looked in the mirror on the door. I look basically the same as yesterday, I thought, whatever. I kissed my heartagram necklace as I put it around my neck. _If only I could just hear Bam's voice tell me he loves me, one more time..._

I shook the thought painfully out of my head, and waltzed into the bathroom. I plugged in my hair straightener and as it heated up I did my makeup. All I do is thickly line my eyes and put on mascara. Today I also made a tiny heart under my sclera. I ran the iron through my hair, and teased up the upper part. I added a little bow to it, for a finishing touch. I smiled at my reflection. "Crap," I mumbled. Where are my bracelets? I looked frantically through my drawers, but then remembered how much of a haze I was in last night. I found them on my bedside table. Gotta cover up these bad boys, I thought sarcastically.

There was a knock at my door. "Ivy? You awake?" Mom.

"Yeah, mom. I'm up."

"Okay hon, do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"Uh... sure. Can you make waffles?"

"Of course! Be down in ten."

"Got it!" I breathed. Now, what to do? I grabbed my phone and read my new text. 'Morning_ love xxx_' Gerard. I typed back at him. I put all the contents scattered around my room where they belong, and stuffed some papers into my book bag. I grabbed my hoodie and went downstairs, placing the stuff on the couch. I sat next to my mother. She was watching something on the news about politics. Yawn. I strolled into the kitchen and grabbed a plate consisting two waffles. I poured a little maple syrup on them and sat down at the kitchen table. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I'm too lazy to answer it. When I finished the waffles, I got a cup of coffee and drank it down. I guess I should go. "Bye mom!" I kissed her cheek and threw on my hoodie and slung my book bag over one shoulder. I walked out into the cold air, and slid open my phone. It was Frankie. _Hey Ivy I have all the stuff for class see ya there!_ I laughed silently to myself. I guess I got my point across to remember the report!

The road came to an intersection and I turned toward the school. "Ivy! Wait up!"

I turned around. "Ray!" I smiled. Finally, someone to talk to that won't be terribly awkward...

"What's up?"

"Waking up. It's so fucking cold out!"

"Well, it's not even February yet!"

"Shut up." I laughed at him.

"Sorry. Anyway, where is everyone?"

"How should I know? Gee and Frank texted me, I have a feeling Frankie's getting driven because our science project."

He nodded. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," I faltered.

"You know Christa, in our unit?"

"Um, yeah I think so."

"Do you think we would like, maybe..."

"You like Christa!" I poked his arm and he blushed.

"Maybe, a little, okay yes. I DO like Christa. What do you think she'd say if I asked her out?"

"Well, I think you two would make an awesome couple. She's a nice girl, I think she would say yes. And in total honesty, I think she likes you too. I've seen the way she looks at you during lunch period."

"I thought I was the only one that noticed that!" He smiled. "Thanks, Ivy. You're a great help."

"Anytime."

We joined everyone waiting by my locker once we got through the halls. Gerard kissed me quickly on the lips, making sure no teachers saw, and all of a sudden all of my prior thoughts of Bam started fading. I knew I only wanted Gerard, no-one else. I opened my locker and put in my book bag and jacket. "We should get to class, guys." I started waking down the hallway in the direction of the gym. Autumn strolled next to me, and we chatted small talk. We got into the changing room and scurried into the individual stalls so certain things didn't show, and we sat down on the hardwood floor next to Gerard.

"Everyone stand up in your squads!" Mrs. Green yelled into the microphone. "20 jumping jacks! Ready, and one, two, three, four..."

Meanwhile...

"Okay, get your goggles on and you start working on your projects," the woodshop teacher announced. Mikey and Frank took out their wood planks and starting using the saws on them. Mikey hammered nails into his plank, which was going to be a mini-bookshelf when he finished. Frank was on the scroll saw, cutting out letters for his name sign. He bent down to grab another plank.

"Mr. Iero, your hand is getting awfully close to-"

"SHIT!" Frank screamed. Mikey, along with the class, watched in horror as the blade swiftly sliced through his hand. He pulled his hand out of the blade and squeezed on it with his only good one.

"I'm calling an ambulance!" Mr. K announced.

"Are you alright?"

"That is really gross!"

"I'll put your stuff away for you..."

"I can't handle blood," one of the girls fainted.

"Mr. K... I can't see..." His vision blurred and went black.

Meanwhile...

"Ew!" Autumn laughed.

"Don't you dare! If you eat that, I'm never kissing you again. That's disgusting!" I watched in amusement and horror as Gerard held a worm over his mouth.

"Alright!" He put on a serious face and dropped the gross creature to his side. He took me in his arms and I kissed him passionately. When we pulled apart, he said, "I love you, Ivy!"

"I love you, too!"

"Cut it out, you two!" Autumn shrieked.

I laughed. "Sorry, miss uncomfortable!"

She blushed. "I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just lonely. Mikey's in woodshop and we're forced to sit out here in the fucking January freezing-ass cold!"

"Calm your tits," Gerard joked.

"Leave her alone, she has a good point." I smirked.

The bell rang and we all ran in and changed.

"God damn," I murmured at my locker.

"What?" Autumn questioned.

"I still feel the cold on my face!"

"Me, too," Gerard added in. "I bet I could slap myself and not feel it right now."

Autumn laughed. "Do it!"

"Alright!" Gerard slapped himself, and didn't even flinch. "I didn't feel that."

I laughed really loud and covered my mouth. Some people stopped and looked at me. I turned around, probably red-faced, and start to open my locker. "That did NOT just happen, alright?"

"Okay."

"_Sure_ it didn't," Autumn giggled.

"Come on, let's get to class," I said. We all walked into the classroom, late as usual, and took out seats in the back. I pretended to be paying attention, but in reality I was pouring my feelings out into my notebook. Out of nowhere, on the loudspeaker, came : _Hello, Mrs. Thompson. Can I have Gerard Way, Ivy McAddams, Autumn Green, and Ray Toro to the front office for dismissal please?_

"They'll be right down!" Our upbeat, young teacher yelled into the air. _Thank you!_

"Guys, you're dismissed, have a nice day. Your homework is this assignment," she said as we walked past grabbing the papers. "I'll see you all tomorrow."

"I wonder what's going on," I stated when we got into the hall.

"Me too," Gerard muttered. "I hope nothing bad happened..."

"Mrs. Iero? Why are you picking us up?"

She stayed silent as she signed us out. Once we all piled into her car, she spoke up. "There was an... accident in woodshop earlier today, I figured you might want to see Frankie."

Something buzzed in the back of my head. Worry? Yes of course. More than I should be worried? I'm not sure why... but yes again. Why? I don't like Frankie like that, he's just a friend. Right?

"Hi, Frank," Autumn said softly. We filed into the room. I saw gauze wrapped around his hand, blood seeping through it. I flinched at the sight. _At least I know it was an accident, Frank isn't the kind of person to do that to himself._

"Hey, guys!" He smiled a little.

"What did you do this time, Iero?" Ray joked.

I thought of something to add in. "How are we gonna kill zombies when you've get a huge ball of gauze on your hand?"

We all laughed. Gerard said, "Dude, how are you such a klutz?" I smiled at Gee.

"Not sure, maybe I hang out with _you_ too much!"

Gerard stuck his tongue out at him. I giggled. Ray gave him a pat on the back. "In all seriousness, I wish you luck."

"Ray, I'm not gonna die! It's just a little scratch."

"Alright. I'm gonna go in the waiting room, it's too bright in here for my liking."

"I'm tagging along! Good luck, Frankie!" Autumn said over her shoulder and they left.

"Your brother is in the kitchen getting me some shit, can you go make sure he's not pigging out on everything in the fridges Gerard?"

"Sure. Will do. Be right back." I watched him leave.

"So, you hurt yourself _again,_ somehow I'm not even shocked by this anymore!"

He smiled. "Ivy, can I talk to you?"

"That's what I'm here for!"

"Okay. You remember, yesterday?"

"No. I totally forgot."

"I'm being serious."

"Okay, yes. I remember what happened yesterday. Big deal. We talked it out. Why?"

"Because I thought about it all day yesterday when you left, and today when I was stuck in this tiny little room alone. And I realized something."

"What?" I took a seat in a chair next to his bed. "What did you realize?"

"I think I have true feelings for you, Ivy." He looked me straight in the eyes.

What just got over me I have no clue, but I just let it take over. I pulled myself up and kissed Frankie, just like he did to me yesterday. His lips still have that warm feeling to them, which I was craving more of. He seemed a bit hesitant, but soon became comfortable with the taste of my lips. Damn. The kiss had a flow to it, as it we were absolutely perfectly timed to be doing this. I stroked my fingers softly through his hair as he held onto my cheek with one hand.

I guess we didn't hear the door open when Gerard came in, but damn did I hear it when he slammed it behind him.


	6. Mishaps Come With Breakups

**A/N: I promised more drama :3 this is a verrrrrry important chapter! Take your time reading it, it might be one of the most important chapters of the entire story. Read!**

"Gerard!" I yelled at the closing door. "Wait!" I squirmed out of Frank's comforting arms and ran after him.

"Ivy-" I swatted at him, not at all in the mood to talk about things like this anymore. All I wanted was to set things straight with Gerard. And it's gonna end happily, right?

Autumn seemed worried as I rushed past her in the waiting hall. "What's wrong?"

I shoo my head and sped my pace up. Really? Now, of all times? When I exited the towering hospital I flipped open my phone and sat down at the nearest bench, furiously dialing Gee's number. _Pick up, pick up, pick up!_

"Hey, it's Gerard. I'm too lazy to answer my phone at the moment, so leave a message!" There was a beeping noise, and I left my message.

"Babe- pick up. I have to talk to you."

maybe he just didn't hear it ring? I decided to text him. _Gee, please let me talk to youuu!_

I waited around fifteen minutes, and for frantic. What's going on? Where is Gerard? Frank is getting a kick in the ass when he's all healed up! Oh, what if Gerard does something stupid again? Don't even _dare _ to think like that, Ivy! You know Gerard would never... would he?

I curled my legs tightly up to my chest, and sobbed into my kneecaps. Why does this have to happen to me? All I want is to be happy! I grabbed my iPod from my book bag and started running toward Battery City Park. It's the last place I wanted to be, but that's apparently the only place my legs would carry me.

When I finally arrived, I plopped down on yet another bench, and just wanted to jump into my grave right there and then. What if he leaves me? _No shit he's gonna leave you, you frigging idiot! You can blame yourself for this one._ I screamed out loud and banged the sides of my head. Shut up! Shut up! Shit. My stupid conscience. I hate it. A sudden rush of wonders came into my head.

What's gonna happen if he leaves me?

_You'll be miserable._

No shit, Sherlock! What's he gonna do? What's going to happen with Frankie and I?

_Maybe you should kill yourself. _

No! I can make it through this. Yeah fucking right, my life is over! The tears threatened to rush back, and I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough to fight against them. I wasn't strong enough to decipher the fact that I'm probably going home single and miserable. _Cry me a river,_ I could hear his voice already. _You did this to yourself._ He's not that kind of person! I forced myself to think happy thoughts.

Unicorns,

Crayons,

Rainbows,

Glitter.

I hate that shit!

Wondering how late it was, I opened up my phone shakily. I think I might have dozed off slightly, because it seems a lot darker out than it had been. Trying to keep my breath steady, I realized I had a new message. Oh my god! I'm about to die! I viewed it, without even checking who it was from. _Hey Ivy! Long time no see huh? I'm gonna be coming to visit for a month or so in Jersey. Can I stay at your place? It's not a big deal if I can't, I guess. I miss you!_

What? I scrolled down a little farther, and my heart practically stopped beating in my chest. It was Bam! Like, no chiz, all seriousness, this text was from the beautiful, amazing, Bam Margera. Fancy getting this text today of all days! _Sure, you stay as long as you like. Mom will be so happy to hear you're coming to visit! Miss you too. _

Whoa. Did that really just happen?

"Hey, girl! I heard what happened with Frank, is he alright?"

"Uh... yeah mom, he cut his hand pretty deep, but they stitched it back up and gave him a brace. He'll be better in no time."

"Alright. Dinner's waiting, for when you're ready."

"Thanks, I'll be upstairs. I need to call Gerard."

"What for, babe?"

"Very long story. I'll explain later, ok?"

"Sure, dear."

I raced up the steps and closed my door as fast as the hinges would swing it. My escape to get further away from life was to enter my closet. I sat in the corner in the pitch dark, and dialed Gerard's number again. It rang once. Twice.

"What?"

"Can't I at least talk to you? You just can't avoid me, eventually I'm gonna have to say something."

"I thought you said the first kiss was an accident. You said it didn't mean anything."

"And it didn't! It was just a weak moment, I couldn't stand to see him like that, and I remembered how much he said he cared about me..."

"You think I don't care about you, Ivy?" He sounded truly hurt.

"I never said that!"

"Look, if you're trying to tell me something, just spit it out."

My jaw dropped. _Spit it out?_ "I want you to tell me what you're thinking right now."

"I'm thinking that my girlfriend of almost two years really doesn't seem to want to be in a relationship with me anymore, and I'm having a bit of trouble taking that in."

I couldn't breathe. "Gerard-"

"Do you even love me anymore?"

"Of course I do!"

"I don't believe it."

"I love you," I paused for a second to wipe a tear from my cheek. "because you're you. You're geeky and shy and you be yourself and you make perverted puns and when we were younger you used to leave mini snickers bars on my bed when you knew I was having a bad day, and you cared so much, and you cried when I stopped talking to you. I love you because you don't have the capacity to be mean to people you love, and I love you because you don't lie to me, and I love you because you're the sweetest person in the world, and I love you because you pull on my hair until you get me to scream just so you know I feel pain, too. I love you because you're addicted to coffee and because nothing matters to you, no one matters to you, except the people who you love and care for. I love you because you're insecure and because you don't realize how amazing and beautiful you are. I love you because I can tell you you are beautiful, and I think it every second of every day. I love you because you're you, and you'll never change for anyone."

"Ivy, stop please. You're just making it harder for the both of us. You know that what happened in there wasn't an accident, and you were just going to get away with it. But this time, you didn't. So you're trying to suger-coat it so that it seems like a little thing, and it'll all be okay, right?"

"No—"

"How would you feel if you caught me kissing Autumn? What would _you_ do?"

"I'm not sure. I never really thought about it that way..."

"Exactly. What do you think I want to do right now?"

"I don't know! I just said that!"

I put the phone on speaker and started to change into my pj's. Sweatpants and a big tee shirt. "I think maybe it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore. Or at least for a little while. Maybe when the time feels right, we could possibly have a relationship again. Or at least a friendship. Right now, I'm honestly not so sure about it."

I stopped everything and fell to the floor. "Are you joking?"

"Do you think I'm joking, Ivy?"

"I have to go. Gonna go, yanno, jump off a bridge. Bye, Gerard." I shut off the phone and fell back against the wall. I allowed my legs to give out and I fell to the floor, ready to flood the closet with my tears. The voice inside my head begged hopelessly for me to show it the beautiful red flesh of my blood for what seemed like hours, until I darted full-speed into the bathroom and shut it the hell up. I let the blood pour off my arms into the bathtub, and then gauzed myself up. That's better, I thought. So much for getting past _that_ habit.

I crawled depressedly into my bed, and showered my pillow until my mind filled me with dreams.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Bam get off me you silly!" I was giggling nonstop. "You know I hate it when you tickle me!"

"You seem to be enjoying it to me!" he kissed at my neck. I moaned lightly.

I could just barely see his eyes through the gravity pulling his hair onto my face. The carpet brushed against my skin as I tried and failed to wiggle out of his grip.

"Alright, fine, I'll stop."

"Thank you baby!" I smirked sexily and planted my lips on him once again. We immediately started intensely making out by the time I turned him over and got on top of him. Our hands grazed over each other's bodies gracefully as we enjoyed ourselves.

Bam sat up and took me in his arms, and then dropping me on the water bed. He then laid down, and I pounced on him, splashing the water around. I laughed and kissed him passionately. "Are... you, are you sure about this...?"

"Mfffh," I moaned back at him. It was the best I could say in response, not really sure what it meant. I slipped my now bare body under the blankets of the bed. Bam joined me under here, and we proceeded to do whatever we wanted. Hell, that's what happens when you're a teenager and you're parents leave town.

.

.

.

What the hell was that all about? One of the strangest dreams I've ever had... yet one of the best at the same time... I grasped my journal from my bedside table, and scribbled down everything that had just happened in that fantasy of mine. Good morning, world.

**THAT WAS UNEXPECTED WASN'T IT? You're so very welcome :3 oh Jesus, next chapter's important too! And you just have to wait and see don't you?**


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